For years I had a blog in which I talked. Oh, did I talk. I blabbed, I poured out every single innermost thought I had, without any regard to the consequences. And then, I learned that one of the consequences sucked ass. I had to kowtow, kiss ass, apologize and grovel. Since then, lesson learned, I’ve kept, for the most part, my mouth shut.
Then, I started posting a few things that were more personal and people responded. I started doing it more, and now, I’m hesitating to know how much to share here. I don’t know, not really, where the line is anymore.
Yes, I want to talk about books. (I have some amazing ones to tell you about, in particular, the new Jennifer Wiener, one called An Atlas of Unbelievable Longing [whose name puts me in mind of A hearbreaking work of staggering genius] and Life’s That Way). Books are a huge part of my life. So is food. Right now, it’s food in a unique way, but it’s there. Cocktails, wine? Yes. Travel? My god yes and so much more so, soon, I hope. Everything I’ve set up here to talk about, IS me.
But where do I draw the line when I’m frustrated at something personal? With someone in my life? DO I talk or do I just stew, journal it and stay off the web? My gut reluctantly says the latter.
There’s a delicate line to walk between being real and being too real. Maybe I’m just being moody and introspective and slightly annoyed. Maybe I’m over thinking the whole thing. Maybe, if I were smart, I’d go run a bath, throw in a melt and a bomb and see if I can work out the knot that seems to have taken up residence underneath my shoulder blades.
Oh, my darling, I so know where you are (were? – it was a while ago that you posted this) at. I’ve had the same experience. I’m sometimes pondering the same line. I shared and felt the burn, I’ve also shared and felt the warmth. I’m trying to focus on all that I gained from blogging back in the day and trying to rebuild that community. Mostly what I’m trying to learn is to live a life that honours my true feelings honestly so that I don’t need to apologize for them because I am entirely comfortable with them myself and sharing them with anyone else. Phew, is that a task!