There is no such thing as a frenemy. You’ve either got a friend or you’ve got an enemy. There is no grey area here.
The word appeared in print as early as 1953 discussing the Russian/US situation. Interesting choice of words when you’re talking about possible war, but ok.
The modern day version of the frenemy is defined by Wikipedia as being used to refer to either an enemy disguised as a friend or to a partner who is simultaneously a competitor and a rival. While that in and of itself makes sense, if you’re friends with someone considered a rival, do you really think they’re going to have your best interests at heart? Turn it around — would you have their back in a similar situation? Yeah, probably not.
About.com has a list of things that a frenemy will do, and that post is the one that prompted this one. They suggest that a frenemy will do that will show their “true colors”:
- Ruining a positive moment for you with careless words that diminish your achievement.
- Gossiping about you behind your back.
- Inability to be totally happy for you.
- Constantly comparing her life with yours or competing with you.
- Compliments mixed in with criticism.
- Hurtful words followed by a hug or big smile.
None of those things say ‘friend’ to me! Not a single one!
There’s someone in my life that I considered a frenemy for a while, before not bothering to consider her at all anymore. She still smiles at me and says hi when we run into each other, but it’s quite obvious we hate each other. We’re complete opposites in practically everything from attitude, dress, looks, energy… you name it. When I realized that she would never be someone I would invite somewhere, call on just to chat, or count on her in a time of need cleared the air, pretty quickly.
We’ll still run into each other once in a while, but do I count her as a friend? Nope, and that cuts both ways.
Take a look at the people in your life – do you have “frenemy”? Ditch ‘em. They’re not your friend and you won’t ever be able to count on them so why waste time?